Living the dream......within reason

I arrived in Hawaii 5 days ago. I had some major issues with the heat the last time I raced, and I said if I qualified again, and was able to, I'd get here early enough to do the last of my training here before the taper.
Thanks to incredibly supportive work colleagues (and husband!), this was possible, and after a couple of fairly easy days, to get over the journey, I got stuck into a pretty heavy training schedule. I have had a bit of consultancy work to do, and papers to review but most of my time has been occupied with the triathlete's dream: Eat, train, eat, massage (or yoga), train, eat, sleep. Essentially the life that the pros live every day.

I've also had a bit of time to think about this incredible opportunity, and reflect on some more of the mental aspects of what is ahead.

Luke McKenzie and Beth Gerdes

One thing I have realised is, as an age group athlete, it is great to have a taste of how the pros live. But it would be easy to fall into the trap of letting this experience in the next couple of weeks over-inflate my idea of what I am capable of on race day. It is so amazing to be living and training amongst the pros- (yesterday I was swimming between 2 World Champions, and today I chatted to the 2013 Hawaii runner-up, Luke Mckenzie and his amazing partner, Beth Gerdes). What I LOVE about this sport is that the pros don't act like stars (I guess the lack of support, for them financially and from the mainstream media means they are not swamped by fans like World Champs from other sports). Our sport is so special in that we race right alongside the pros. Here in Kona, the atmosphere is what I would expect the Olympic Village to be like, and of course it would be pretty hard to ever score a place there!!

So back to that point about race-day. I did my first ride on the Queen K on Tuesday and was FLYING!! I'd forgotten how smooth and fast the road surface is.

But today was another story. The notorious winds came up today, and it was, according to the pros, the windiest ride many of them have ever done Leanda Cave, 2012 champion's post read "The windiest ride I have EVER done in Kona after 8 years of coming here to race. This video does not even do it justice."

https://twitter.com/leandacave/status/647973072511877120

Beth disappearing into the distance!

All well and good to read AFTER the event, but it was pretty humbling out there. Staying on the bike was challenging enough, but I stand by my comment that the harder, the better as far as I'm concerned! No, the difficult part for me was realising that after battling into the wind for most of the way out, Kona did its thing, and the wind swung around, so that on the way back, we only got about 20k of tailwind, then more headwind for the final 25k!! During this time, Luke and then Beth came flying past me, and highlighted just how big the gap is between my ability and hers. So it gave me a reality check. Much needed. You see, it's great to come out here, and immerse ourselves in the vibe that the World Championships provides. It's also right and fitting that we take our final two weeks' preparation seriously. I know first hand, how hard it is to qualify for Kona. I also know a large number of people who would love to be where I am now. It would be disrespectful to slack off now. BUT....

We are not pros. We aren't doing this for a living, it is our passion, lifestyle, hobby. There needs to be focus, but also some realism and balance.  When I started to feel negative out there today, and when the negative, driving thoughts came up like "at this speed, you'll be doing a 7 hour ride in 2 weeks", what brought me back to reality was thinking 'so what? You'll be racing HAWAII, who cares how long it takes? You know you can finish, no matter how slow the bike is".

We don't have our livelihoods on the line. We just have our own goals and limits to surpass. For me, getting back to Hawaii again means I've already won. Anything else is a bonus.

2 weeks to go

Top tips for Ironman success.....as an age group athlete

Elated with my first Ironman finish in 2008

I've been designing this post in my head for several weeks now. I recently chatted with another Ironman athlete, who felt that in his first (and only) Ironman, he lost all balance in his life, and ended up neglecting his family while training for it. He crossed the finish line proud, but rather hollow and relieved that it was over. He said he would love to read more blogs about how age group athletes manage to balance the training and the rest of their lives.

I felt absolutely gutted for him! I crossed the finish line of my first Ironman so elated. Yes, the pain of the race itself gives you that momentary feeling of "I'm NEVER doing that again"!! But like childbirth (so they tell me) you soon forget the pain and I was quickly looking forward to when I could do it again!

I too have had that slightly hollow feeling after races though. Even Ironman France, my first standout performance, I felt more relief than elation as I crossed the line. Fortunately, by qualifying for Hawaii, the excitement overcame that feeling. I know that I felt like that because I had destroyed myself in training for that race, leaving very little scope to actually enjoy the result.

So Tip number 1:

1. Define YOUR idea of success. 

I'm no great athlete, I'll be the first to admit that. But in my view I have been successful; and my list of perceived successful performances wouldn't necessarily be the best results, but more likely the races where I surprised myself with a better result than expected. 

If your definition of success is to squeeze every last drop out of yourself, then that's fine. But beware how long you can do that for. I realised after trying that route, that it is not all about a few amazing performances for me. The period of overtraining and fatigue that I went through in 2012, I NEVER want to repeat. I honestly want to be doing this sport (and enjoying it) when I am in my 70s. That might mean I only go to Kona once every 5-10 years. It might mean I never run the sub 3hr marathon that I think I might be capable of. But my current idea of success is to get to the start line of a big race healthy, having enjoyed the process (within reason, given my love/hate relationship with the bike!). But mostly, it's to cross the finish line knowing I want to do it all again.

2. Work on your weaknesses.......but don't neglect your strengths

Again, I've learned this the hard way. "I am a runner" is actually now a mantra for me. I started this sport with a 4k fun run in 2005. I expected to run about 24-25min, but in the day I shocked myself with 18.30! Over the years, my results in the run have pleasantly surprised me. 

But it's not "all about the run", right? We'll sort of. Obviously Ironman is 3 sports, and in terms of time in the race, the bike takes up the most. But I think we can become obsessed with working on our weaknesses, that we stop backing ourselves in our strongest leg. In the early days, I was a complete non-swimmer and pretty crap cyclist. I used to hit T2 thinking "finally I get to do MY leg!!" But I then got to the point where I was working so hard on the bike that I had way less enthusiasm for the run. (See mental chips below) I'm not advising against having goals; I have my own, but just make sure you are able to keep enjoying working on your strengths.

3. Make the training work for you

The "one-way epic" from Benalla station after catching the train

In the last 10 years, I've come full circle with my training. In the early days, it was just myself and Pete, with a few friends to train with at times. All my runs were solo. But that got lonely, and we joined Melbourne Tri Club in 2010 for company primarily. A massive bonus to that, alongside the amazing friends we made along the way, was being coached by Sean Foster of Fluid Movements. Sean got more out of me as an athlete than I ever thought I was capable of. But the squad environment led me to invariably push myself too hard, too often, even just to try to keep up on a Saturday ride, and I came to realise that being in tears because I was being dropped every week was worse than feeling lonely riding on my own! 

I backed away from the squad environment in the IM Malaysia prep. I discovered Spotify and blogs for my long rides - I took myself on "one-way epics" to keep the training exciting. 

I had planned to design my own program for this prep, but when several of my friends from TEAM qualified for Kona, I yearned to share the journey with them. And I didn't quite have the confidence in planning my own training. Additionally, Xavier came to Pete and proposed that he coach him for IM Japan. It all made sense for me to also join his squad. But after trying to ride with different members of the squad on 3 consecutive weekends, I realised I was still pushing too hard to keep up. (Please don't misinterpret any of this as these people "dropping" me; they would all wait for me, and regroup, but I was perpetually pushing beyond myself to keep up). I discussed some of this with Xavier, and my program became solely non-group based, until the last few weeks where I joined a few midweek squad run and ride sessions. I came to terms with the solo training. I always had my twice-weekly swim squad sessions with the Tri Fitness crew, and I relished the chance to catch up with them, and the MTC crew over coffee. I kept up with the TEAM girls at swims, and through Facebook.

I think for the Age Group athlete it is critical that the right training environment is found. Again, this could change with the stage of the prep. If a fast, group long ride takes 2 days to recover from in the off season, that's fine, but in the middle of an ironman prep, you need to back up day in and day out. I do think the ideal scenario is to find a few athletes of the same ability as you, and train together, and a squad is where you may be able to do that, but if that doesn't work out, don't be afraid to change things up. I have enjoyed this prep as much as any other; I've looked for positive feedback in my fitness improvements and race results, rather than how long it took before I got dropped!

4. BALANCE!

Possibly one of the most over-used words of the era? We don't have to be Ironman triathletes to suffer the torment of chasing the all-elusive balance!! 

I've come to the conclusion that balance does not mean trying to apportion equal time/energy to all the areas of our lives. It is a similar concept to success; you need to define your OWN idea of balance, and it is a changeable definition, depending on your stage of life and training cycle. During my first couple of Ironmans, breakfast with friends or the odd dinner out was enough balance. I certainly didn't spare much mental energy for my PhD during 2011. But then I kind of rebelled, and I tried to fit in too many other things alongside the final stages of an ironman prep. I didn't see why recovery should take the place of social events. 

Now I realise that balance ebbs and flows; in the off-season and early stages of a race prep, I have time/energy for other things (I have booked events for every weekend in November/December this year!) But in the final 6 weeks of the race prep, the balance shifted heavily towards work and training, and it felt right for that to be the case. Define your idea of that balance, and communicate with partners/family in advance so they understand your shift in focus. 

5. Save some mental chips for Raceday

I have talked about my "mental chips" theory before, and I've saved it for last, because I think for Age Group racing it is possibly the biggest factor in success. If you have spent your entire prep balancing work, family, social life AND squeezed every last drop out of yourself in training, you may find when you get to that start line, there are only a few mental chips left. When you need to dig deep in the last half of the marathon there may be very little left to draw on. At the upper level of the age group ranks, we have all done the training, we all have our nutrition and pacing sorted. We've figured out how to shave excess time off transitions, and we're as aero as we can be (anatomy permitting in my case!) 

So what does it come down to? The last 90min to 2hrs of the race. An incredible Ironman age grouper and friend, Vicky Wilkinson said to me in 2011 "At the halfway mark of the run, embrace the pain, it's what you've done all the training for". It's one of my mantras to this day. But it relies on those mental chips. So I believe you need to just save a little something in training and even in lead-up races. Just about 2-3% because on Ironman race day, that is the few % that will make all the difference. 

I am en-route to Hawaii as I write this. I cut my last ride in Melbourne short yesterday (2.5hrs instead of 4). Physically I could have done it, but I was stressed about packing to leave, getting a puncture, or God forbid being knocked off my bike. I struggled with the decision, but came home, packed and went to a meditation session before I left. 24hrs later as I write this, I am so pleased I did that. Maybe that 90min will be those mental chips saved for race day?

19 days to go

Hardwoman racing - to galvanise the mind!

I did my "lead in race(s)" for Hawaii last weekend.

Rather than enter the Sunshine Coast half ironman (which was this weekend, and would have meant spending a whole heap of cash on flights, accommodation etc) I chose to race the Latrobe Valley Tri Club's "Hardwoman" event. This involved racing the "Olympic" distance (1.5/36/9) on Saturday and long course (2/80.5/17.5) on Sunday, with the aggregate time deciding the overall result. 

I did almost a full week of training leading in to the race, just a slightly shorter run on Thursday and ride plus short swim Friday. But this week had more intensity than before, so I was carrying some muscular fatigue. 

I had 2 main aims for the weekend. The first was to nail my swims, and particularly the start. I tend to go off well, and get onto feet, but sometime between about 50-100m I lose those feet and end up killing myself in no man's land trying to get back to the group. 

The second aim was to finish my runs strong. With the run in Kona being my main goal, I wanted the positive feedback from the run this weekend.

On Saturday, I had a good swim (1.35/100) but failed to get on any feet after getting dunked a few times at the start. Frustrating but as I started the bike I just thought "let it go" and settled in. I had debated just riding at half ironman effort, to keep something in the tank, but quickly decided to up the ante, and I'd say lap 1 was an honest Olympic Dist effort, with laps 2 and 3 being about 5% less. Still much harder than I'd planned though.
I got off the bike and thought to myself "this is just like doing one of your XC races on a Saturday afternoon"; no pressure on fatigued legs, just see how I would go. Well they went pretty well! I was tapping out sub 4.30/k for the first 2k, then slowed up the hill, but stormed back down it onto lap 2. I was really happy with how I felt, and there were no signs of my legs failing. Back up the hill on lap 2, and I glanced at my watch which read 4.36/k average so far.

My next thought was "Try and get as close to 4.30/k average between here and the finish". The finish was 1.3km from the top of the hill, and I started to pick up my stride down the hill. 

And there ahead of me was a girl I'd overtaken on lap 1 of the bike, but who had come past and left me behind on lap 2. "Go and get her" I thought. But she was already nearly at the bottom of the hill. "No, just go for the fast finish, and if you happen to catch her, that's a bonus". So I focused on just winding up my pace, and lo and behold, I got closer, and closer, and by the finish chute, it was ON. I absolutely gave it everything I had; drawing on the old rugby winger muscles, which haven't really been called on for years! I just took her on the line, and only realised later that she was also in the Hardwoman event, so I finished day 1 in 2nd (by 1sec!!!). Looking back at my data, I did get back to 4.30/km average by running that 1.3km at 3.42/km, and my finishing pace was 2.32/km!!

Now things get interesting.

I went back to my good friends Janette and Murray Brady's house, refuelled well, and looked after my legs, with compression, foam roller etc to be as ready for day 2 as I could.
But I made one mistake. I got caught up in a new and "improved" goal for day 2. I wanted to hold that 2nd place, and beat the girl who I'd had the sprint finish with. I felt that if I had a better swim start, and got on Bern Dornom's feet (the leader of day 1) then I'd have a bit of a lead from 3rd out of the water. If she were slightly stronger again on the bike, but I could stay in touch, then hopefully I'd have the faster run. So I woke up on Sunday, very positive, thinking "I'm going out to get 2nd place".
All of these kind of thoughts are EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of how I really needed to approach day 2! Remember, this was just a hit-out pre Kona. Just a training weekend, with some racing thrown in. How I really needed to approach day 2 was to expect to have fatigue from the week's training, coupled with nearly 100% effort on Saturday, but just to roll through the longer event, and see what happened.

I got in a good position at the start of the swim - all eyes on Bern, whose feet I was aiming to jump onto. Off we went- yes, there they are, then within 100m, she went around another swimmer and "poof" GONE! I was gutted. "Lost her again. Oh well, regroup, try to find more feet. nope, none there. Ok, just push, push push". I was swimming alongside my mate Brendan, and on the other side, the girl who I'd raced to the finish yesterday. Started to pull away from both of them, and then at about the 1k mark, my arms just started winding down. My stroke rate dropped, and the other girl came past, and slowly pulled away. I was ok with that though,

I was doing what I could, given the fatigue in my arms. I thought "It doesn't matter, you'll be fresh in Kona ".
I came out of the water, and could feel the fatigue as I ran towards transition. I whinged a bit at Pete about my swim, but really I was still in a fairly good place.
I took off on the 5-lap bike, with the intention of starting out conservative and maybe building if I felt ok in the second half.
Oh dear!

Struggle town on the bike

Within a few kms, I knew the legs hadn't come to the party. For my long rides, I have been averaging something around the region of 155W average power. On Saturday I'd held 184W. By the end of lap 1, I was only averaging about 157W, and from then on, it dropped to a final number of 149W for the ride. The power just wasn't there after Saturday's effort, and as I've said, that would have been FINE, if I hadn't set myself up to compete. I won't list all the negative thoughts that started to go through my head, but the worst was the feeling of embarrassment that I was using our beautiful quad spoke wheels, and at times into the headwind, was barely riding at 20kph!

The first lap was spent trying to come to terms with having no "go" in the legs. I though "just treat this like its the final 80k in Hawaii", but honestly I hope my legs DON'T feel that bad at the 100k mark! The second and third, were just miserable! The 4th lap, I started thinking things like "you need to just get this done", and I started to just take my mind away from what I was doing, looking at the cows in the paddocks, and looking forward to seeing Pete and Nettie out on the course. 

Coming off the bike (thank god), I thought I was actually in last, although there were a couple behind me, and I thought "right, let's see how many I can chase down on the run".

I set off........and immediately realised my run legs were there! HURRAY! It's such a wonderful feeling when I can have a terrible ride, but still be able to run. I won't dwell on the run, because it was all good. I felt like I could have kept going at the end, and at 4.49/km, that was a very, very nice feeling going into my final 4 weeks. 

Quote: "Maybe I should do some marathons and ultras after Kona"

This weekend was an epic trip up to Bright, mainly to celebrate Wayne Hildred's 60th (a formidable cyclist - look him up). Spring sprang, and I got some incredible riding and running done, surrounded by jaw-dropping views. It's made me decide to plan a really nice ride for my final weekend in Melbourne next week (maybe the Great Ocean Rd). I'm feeling like I'm in a very good place with my last couple of big weeks of training left. 

4 weeks to go