Daring to dream....and a renewed determination

This week has been pretty tough. Most people reading this will know that Pete raced Ironman Japan yesterday with one goal; to qualify for Hawaii and race with me.

It was a huge gamble. He has never quite put together an Ironman run that would get him up in the places needed to qualify. But he's done way more running for this race, and we thought if he had his best day, and the race had either gone under people's radar, or all the gun athletes had already booked their slots, then he might just have a chance.

It was not to be. He will write a race report, but a superb swim and solid bike may still have not been enough, even if his back hadn't packed up at 19k into the run. For those of you who don't know, Pete has 2 vertebrae in his lower back which are now completely fused, with no discs left between them. He was told 10 years ago he could (and should) probably never run further than 10k. Since then he has finished 7 Ironmans and a marathon. He is a gentle giant, but he has more willpower than he ever demonstrates outwardly.

I hated that I could not be there for him. Just to keep him going on that run. To greet him at the finish line. Fortunately, he had some incredible support out there, and even more watching from all over the world.

So where does that leave me, and my headspace?

Us on our wedding day, Aug 2000

Clearly I am devastated for Pete. I was in turmoil all week, especially after we spent our 15th wedding anniversary apart on Wednesday. I didn't have much enthusiasm for training. Luckily my coach had anticipated this, and scheduled a much lighter week for me. I threw myself into my work, but that meant more mental fatigue and not great sleep all week, so I ended up feeling almost as tired as if I had trained fully. Yet another example of the impact that stress has on your body.

 I raced my final Cross Country of the season on Saturday, and the thought of Pete's big day got me through that really well, in fact. It was a pleasant surprise to finish closer to a couple of "real" athletes than I ever have before. Yesterday's run was awful though. I had a bit of an upset tummy, and plodded through it, while Pete was on the bike racing, and although it was only 90min this week, it felt more like 3 hours! I just wanted to get back to the computer to track Pete's race.

But whereas his result in South Africa left me questioning why we were even doing the sport (because he'd finished so dejected), yesterday was completely different. I have seen a really amazing transformation in Pete over the last 6 months. Other than in work, I've never really seen him grab a goal by the balls and really go for it before. He has been so animated about this race, his training, how his running was improving. It made me realise that sometimes you just need that stupidly big goal to put the fire in your belly that makes you want to keep getting up and doing the training.

So it left me sad for him that he didn't pull it off. But excited for him that he found that carrot that was dangling and just had to chase it.

Pete on the run, with Marina supporting

I will now go and give Kona everything I have and more. I won't lose sight of that balance I have worked so hard to get, but this race now means even more (if it could!) than it even did before. I'm racing it for Team Coombe. And every time it gets tough out there, I'll remind myself that I am blessed to have the ability to run, and to be able to push because my body lets me.

As for future goals? We love our destination races, and I'd love Pete to get the feel of a World Championship, even if it's not Kona. So maybe we'll aim for the Olympic Distance Worlds when they are in an exciting place, or even Long Course, since the distance (4k, 120k, 30k) would suit Pete. Team Coombe will choose together.

 7 weeks to go